In with the NEW

For the last few years, I have written articles for different magazines.  I have loved and appreciated every single opportunity and will continue to do so! Breast cancer awareness month is special to so many that have survived and lost someone to this nasty disease.  I hope this encourages you.

While most of you already know my story of surviving breast cancer, some don’t.  I was diagnosed with stage 2 breast cancer at the age of 28.  This experience changed my life forever.  While I always talk about how tough this was, I have to say, I gained a new family of warrior sisters that I love.

This year I stepped out and tried something new…..a magazine issue that highlights my sisters that I edited!  I also had the pleasure of having a survivor sister (Tamyara Brown) be the copy editor.  This issue is literally written about survivors by survivors.

The photoshoot that you see in this issue was so heartfelt.  We warriors bonded in ways we will never forget.

I have to say thank you to Ally Spongr.  She did the photos with no hesitation.  I also have to thank Cece Carson for making sure this got put up on my website.  It truly takes a village to make great things happen.  Thanks to all that wrote articles.  This will touch so many lives.

We hope you enjoy this issue.  Share with those you love.  This is only year one of my own digital magazine!!!!

SEXY IS A STATE OF MIND!!!(Thank you Melanie Hicks for the name!)

See you all next year.

What’s wrong with sexy?

What’s wrong with “sexy” after breast cancer?  My answer is there is nothing wrong with it, the problem is figuring out what it is.  This may be different for you, but I was diagnosed when I was 28 years old.  I share this because I was still “getting my sexy on” being so young.

I had talks with older women and they told me not to get the corrective surgeries, that they didn’t matter.  They mattered to me!  They mattered a whole lot.  I don’t regret one single bit that I opted to get them and I can’t imagine how hard it would be for me if I hadn’t.  I felt like I gained my femininity back after cancer tried to take it.  I hear so many people, men and women alike, ask “that’s outward, what’s the big deal?”  Or they say “it’s what’s on the inside that matters”.  I have gotten very good at ignoring those questions/opinions, unless they have walked a mile in my shoes.

Then we have THE SCARS, in fact after having three surgeries, I have a lot of them.  The scars have and still can be hard to look at at times.  It is becoming easier to look at them when I think of the fact that I am still here.  They tell my story of survival, strength, and endurance.  This thing called “life after cancer” is a marathon.

I get to determine what sexy is to me.  Sexy is my smile because it tells my story of survival.  Sexy is me in my jeans,  Nikes and a ponytail on a rainy day.  Sexy is a fitted dress when I got out on a date with my husband.  Sexy is having a big dinner with my family and watching them all laugh and smile because we love joking with one another.  Sexy is being able to cry when life after cancer gets the best of me.  Sexy is being vulnerable enough to talk about my fears.  Sexy is going to church on Sundays and fellowshipping, helping those in my community, having great friendships, and eating seafood.

              Sexy is whatever I say it is for me….what is it for you?

Chic Impressions

I have to tell you about my radio sponsor and hair stylist Shawna, owner of Chic Impressions Hair Boutique!

I remember Shawna coming to me soon after my battle with breast cancer and she said that she wanted to give me a free hairstyle.  That meant so much to me at that time, seeing how I was really struggling with my hair after breast cancer.  What she did for me always crossed my mind, so it was a no brainer when I was on the market for a stylist, that I look her up.

She has been my stylist for a few year now.

I caught up with Shawna and asked her why she chose to step out and start her own salon: “After noticing the lack of salons that specializes in healthy hair care I decided to start my business. Many woman complained about hair loss breakage/damage and long waits at the hair salon. To me that is unacceptable. I wanted to offer my clients prompt service, a beautiful hair style as well as HEALTHY HAIR”.

She is no joke when it comes to keeping your hair healthy!  I look forward to her treatments and special oils mixtures every time I go to get my hair done!  My hair has grown so much since Shawna has taken over.  Not only has it grown, but it is strong.

When asked who she wants to reach she replied, “I want to reach any woman looking for a unique salon experience”.   For me, time is important.  If you are late, it can have a domino effect on my day, so to see her smiling face every time I pull up make my heart so happy.

One of my favorite things about doing business with her is her next answer.  I asked her what made her business unique/different from the rest, to which she replied “The fact that I offer one on one services. I specialize in healthy hair and offer multiple hair care services”.

I NEVER have to wait when I make an appointment.  I have her undivided attention and like most hairstylists with their clients, I get to chat about some very interesting things with Shawna. We have a good time.

So you want to know how to reach her for her services?  I am so glad you asked!

You can reach her through her Facebook business page “Chic Impressions Hair Boutique” or by call/text 716 348-4736.

Shawnas favorite quote:

“If you can’t fly, then run, If you can’t run, then walk, If you can’t walk, then crawl, but whatever you do, you have to keep moving forward.” –Martin Luther King Jr.

 

Thank you Shawna for not only making my hair beautiful, but for sponsoring the first quarter of The Mercedes Wilson Show on Power 97.5fm.

What do you tell yourself?

 

I was reading some responses to last weeks radio show that I host, and someone put the in the comments words strong and fierce.  They were describing the awesome guest pastor that joined me, which is nothing short of the truth.  Upon reading this, I immediately thought, I cried this week!

Every year when I have to go for my mammogram and MRI I cry.  It’s been 7 years….and yes I still cry.

The thought of having to go through breast cancer again captivates my attention EVERY SINGLE TIME.

I used to feel like I was less of a Christian for allowing myself to feel this way, but now I view this as my constant reminder to stay on my health.

Truth be told, I missed my appointments last year for this very reason.  I did not want to feel what I felt this past week.  Here I am preaching about health to others and I was so deathly afraid of hearing bad news, that I avoided my testing for last year.

In spite of the fear, I got my mammogram last week and celebrated both at home and publicly on social media when I was cleared, but in the back of my mind, I knew I had to wait a week for the MRI test results.  I forced it out of mind for the week because me stressing about it wouldn’t change anything.  I just prayed for peace and kept it moving.  Then Wednesday happened.  When I saw my favorite doctor walk in the room,  I cried.  I needed that release, I needed to see her smile.

She seemed so worried when I cried, she asked “is everything ok?”  “Everything is great” I told her.  “My family is great, my job is great, life is great, but I need those results please”.  “Oh!  You are fine, your results are great!”

See, unless you have gone through cancer, you don’t know the pep talk you have to give yourself before this week of testing begins….. I had to prepare my self mentally on the way to the hospital.   I had say “if something is found God is faithful to get me through it again”, “at least it will be caught early”, and the infamous  “I can do this!”  None of it worked, I still cried.  I can’t say they were tears of joy, because I cried before I even received my results.

I have a loving husband, four great children, and great group of friends and family that would do anything to see my live a long and healthy life.  And while I love them all back, I cried this week.  I cried out fear, I cried the cry of relief, I cried that at this moment, I don’t have to think about cancer.

I am not “Wonder Woman”…I make choices

I get the how the whole image of “Wonder Woman” came about! DC Comics had a hit with Superman and of course we all know that while we love the knight in shining armor love stories,we  women have our place as well!  While we all know the reality is that we are mere humans, the pressure is still on for women that want to do it all.

I appreciate seeing photos of us with no make up on, with baby puke on our shirts,  running our children around, date nights with our spouses, piles of laundry behind us and so on because that’s the reality.  While the world tends to love our Facebook live videos and glammed up selfies, very few have a clue of what is going on behind the scenes.

Processing my day as a working mom most times come very late at night.  In our household there are 6 of us.  One teenager, (full blown teenager too!) one pre-teen, and 3 year old twins.  There is hardly ever a dull moment in my house.  Our twins have now made the question “what are we doing today” something that I have nightmares about.   Our older children have sports, dances, social lives to keep up with, and need a ride to every destination.  I love to cook food so I try, as much as possible, to keep watch on what my family eats and make sure we have that time to communicate about what is going on in our worlds as well.  Some weeks it’s four days that I get to cook, but some weeks it’s only two!

My most recent Facebook live was able to take place because my father came over and took my girls in the back yard and taught them how to ride their bikes.  Daddy, who is a very active father, had to work late, so grandpa and I  made it happen.  When it was over, I packed them up and took them for a ride until they fell asleep.  The silence was golden!  It had been a long day of office work for the non profit that I am Founder and Executive Director for, but like most parents, we love to see the excitement in our children’s eyes when they get a yes for something that is so simple for us to supply.

Marriage takes work!  It takes two people that are fully invested in family to make things work.  It takes communication, respect, love actions, and understanding.  We take our date nights serious.  There are always little ears around that lead to 4-6 way conversations (depends on the level of interest in the topic lol).  What starts out being a two way conversation ends up being way more, so we have our time away.  To make sure our busy worlds stay connected, to laugh, to woosah, to enjoy a good meal without “oooh that looks good, can I have some”?

Early mornings and late nights is primetime for a lot of us!  We get to process the days and wrap up the night.  One of my strengths is morning prayer.  I get to spend time with God, allow Him to speak to me about my life, family, business, future, and how to love the way that He wants me to.  This is my strength, this is where I get my vision for the days, weeks, months, and years to come.  Above anything else, I want to please God.  Second, I want to be an example, with my husband, for our children.  It is on my knees in prayer that I gain the strength needed to take on all that is going on in my families world.  It is what I have when I stand up that allows me to choose to do it another day!

My point of telling you all of this is that it’s not glamorous.  It’s intentional.  It’s the choice that we all made as women to be what the world calls “Wonder Women”.  The reality is we are just hard workers that make the choice to get up the next day and keep going toward greatness!!!  Sometimes there is the blanket that is tear soaked due to being tired, seeing some of the things that my kids have to face in their lives and praying for them, or even the self-imposed pressure  from desiring success.  I am a breast cancer survivor, so those tears can very easily be the nerves that can overtake me for my yearly mammograms and mri’s.

Ladies, make the choices necessary for your families, your lives, and please remember to form healthy relationships that encourage you being restored!  Find the right friends, even though they may be few, that sharpen you and encourage you to be better inside and out.  Join a gym or get out often to relieve some stress and stay physically healthy at the same time. Let’s go on vacations, even if that is out to a retreat to go see your favorite movies when they come out.  Be the the network that we need for one another.  Root on another sister that we see winning and support whenever possible!  We have come so far, and I am excited to see what the next generation of young women are going to accomplish!  WE have work to do!

Mercedes Wilson

Wife, mother, E.D., and Author of Hope

My first book tour!

Photo credit: Ally Spongr

When I was writing my book Hope, I didn’t know what to expect, I was acting out of obedience.  I am so grateful that I listened.

These past two weekends have blown my mind!  Not only am I still trying to wrap my head around the thought that I am an author, but I kicked it off with a book tour.

The weekend of June 16th,  I had the honor of having my first book signing in Medina NY.  I had to go home first, it would not have felt right otherwise.  It was held at The BookShoppe on Main street and it was a highlight for sure.  Not only did I get to see family and friends that have always been a support to me, but I got to sign my books for them.  We had some good laughs and I even had to fight back some tears as my loved ones expressed how proud of me they were.

Next, the weekend of June 21st-23rd, I got to have an author talk about the Audubon library, a workshop at Santosha, and a book signing at Barnes $& Noble.  First, at the Audubon library, we had some amazing women show up and listen to the author talk.  Not only did they listen but they came with questions and comments that made the dialogue real.  I love a real candid conversation and that’s exactly what we had.

The second night was the workshop at Santosha.  This was the big one that I was truly nervous for!  I had prepared HOURS to make this speech happen.  The group of people that came were open and ready to get poured into.  It was a truly humble experience.  I knew that one day I would be able to help people, but I didn’t expect for God to do it this way.  Again, they group had great questions and comments.  There were a lot of tears at this event for sure.

To top off the tour, we had a book signing at  Barnes & Noble in Tonawanda.  Boy was this fun!!!  There were people coming from all over that read it in the newspaper or saw the book signing online.  The support was great and so were the people.  It was great to just chat with people whether they chose to purchase a book or not.  Connecting with others is so important to me and this was a pleasure.

It took a couple of days for me to process all of this.  It was emotional and I really learned a lot about myself and others….we all need HOPE!

Follow your dreams, but start with hard work!

There is so much more great news coming.  I can’t wait to share with you all!

If you have not yet purchased your copy of hope please do on amazon.com, westbowpress.com or barnesandnoble.com.

Shout out to my publicist John Mapsiulionis from Empowered Publicity for making this weekend happen.

Mercedes

 Writing a Book is No Joke!

A Note to aspiring authors

Let me start by saying that anyone can write a book, but not everyone is prepared to endure with it takes to get it done. When I wrote my book, Hope, I had no clue what I was in for! I started the book mid-2016 and put it down. At the end of 2017, God reminded me to finish that book. For about 2-3 weeks straight I was up early in the morning and late at night typing. I could not stop!

Once I finished writing the book it was like a big relief, I could breathe but I was not prepared for what was to come next. The only way to properly describe it was it was as if I gave birth and there was a lull. I had released all of my thoughts onto paper and now the work of getting it to the readers began.

I told some of my greatest failures in my book so the fear of being judged came. I told some of my lowest points, so the fear of being questioned by others came as well. Whenever you take a chance at wanting to help others by being transparent, you run the risk of being judged by others. Your desire to help people has to be greater than being judged.

There was a point while writing the book that one of my editors told me to go into more details about my life. I immediately became uncomfortable and defensive and that was signal to me that she was right. This book took faith. Faith that I would help others in spite of how I feel. It also took time. Time away from my family, my quiet time, friends, and sleep. I don’t know what is on the other side of this book launch but I can tell you that I am excited!

For anyone contemplating writing a book (we all have a story in us), prepare for the ups and downs, writers’ block, and frustrations, but also prepare to help others. Helping others trumps every other emotion.

Be ready for the work that comes after writing, find a great editor, set aside time daily to work on it, be in a great headspace when writing. I had to write in the same type of setting because that relaxed me, do what works for you but do it consistently. Create a notepad on your phone or keep a pad with you because you never know when an idea or thought for the book will come to you. Also, find time to get away from it all, trust me, you will need it. The time to decompress helps you through the writing process.  A clear mind is a creative mind.

Be bold, be confident, be strategic, and last but not least be ready for the success that will come from your sacrifices. I welcome any questions that anyone would have about the book writing process!

Who Told You That?

That is one of my favorite sermons of all times.  There was a pastor from Denver, Colorado that I heard one time and his sermon was titled “Who told you that”.  Take it back to when God was talking to Adam after he and Eve had eaten the forbidden fruit.  When God asked Adam where he was Adam said I hid because we are naked.  God asked him “who told you that?”

I loved asking people who told you that because it gives them time to think about their answer.  We make most moves in our lives based on what we believe about ourselves and the perceptions that we have come from somewhere.  How we love ourselves is reflected in our lives decisions and in most things in my life I like to think about why I do what I do.

“Who told you that” friendships where you feel like you are being used and you choose to stay in them were ok?

“Who told you that” you don’t have to set boundaries and let people disrespect your time, money and talents?

“Who told you that” it matters what others have to say about you?

We can make up a long list of “who told you that’s” that will cause you to think an that’s a great thing.

I have learned that at the end of the day the only voice that has to sit well with me is God’s and the same goes for you.  Will it rub some people the wrong way?  Absolutely, but always remember that no one has to answer to God for your life but YOU.

Surround yourself with others that can respect your boundaries (FYI, there will be very few) but will also challenge you to grow.  Speak life into those people and allow them to do the same for you.  God blesses us through relationships with others, so be open to that.

Lean on those that you know are truly rooting for you when it gets hard (oh trust me it will).  Hold on to what you know you are meant to do with all of your heart and by all means don’t give up.  Someone is waiting for your testimony to make it through!!!!

I Can’t Stop!

Let me start out by saying hello and that I am scared!  Launching my own website, writing my first book, vlogging, and blogging about things that matter to myself and those around me is scary!  We live in a society today where everything that you do is put out on social media and there are so many people that have access to your life.  Sure, you can control it the best of your ability, but once something is put out there, it leaves a lot of room for others to judge.

I had to take some time alone and really pray about doing all of this because while I love my career path, I am not one to put my life on display the way that I did with my book. So, welcome to my new chapter.

I have made the decision to acknowledge my fears but move in spite of them.  I am also coming to realize the strength of my testimony and how much it helps, others.   For so long, I thought that I had a few loose screws because of how I kept going on in life believing that it will all come together.

Have you ever had something on the inside of you that was unaware of how things were going to turn out but you wanted to stick around as long as you could anyway?  That has always been me.  As I have grown older I am realizing that I am a player in the game and have more power to see a positive outcome than I think.

It’s all about perspective and faith.  The way that we have seen things in our pasts play out can paralyze us.  The failed attempts and hurts of a loved one can make us say “forget that, I would rather not try”.  I say NO MORE! for my life.  While I want to learn from the mistakes of others, I will not allow fear to stop me anymore.   The way to overcome it is to stare fear in the face and that’s what this is doing.  So while I am scared…..I won’t stop.  Neither should you.

We all have a story to tell and we all have different ways of telling it.  Find your way and tell your story.  There is someone that needs to hear how you made it.  They need to know how you fought to get out and how you are moving to help free others.

When we make it out, it would be a tragedy for us to move ahead without pulling out another brother or sister.  What you go through is never just for you!